Still sick

Just when I thought Blake was over the worst part of this sickness, it got worse. Of course.

He had a runny nose and hoarse throat the past few days but he got his voice back on Wednesday so I thought we were almost in the clear.

When he's sick, I continue to breastfeed but I also thaw out frozen breastmilk to see if there are any antibodies that could help. He started showing interest in solid food again yesterday. We had soup rice soup with chicken. Yummy dinner for mommy and Blake!

But then while we were playing before his bath, his nose started running again. I ended up skipping his bath and have him a lukewarm wipe down instead.

He pooped in his diaper, which doesn't sound surprising but it is for me since he hasn't pooped in his diaper for awhiiiiiile. He goes on the potty... So that's how I knew he was still sick.

It was incredibly tough getting him to sleep last night. His nose kept running like a monster was inside his nose scaring the snot out. Ha! I took the NoseFrida out a few times and he hated it but at least he could breathe.

He finally fell asleep around 8... About an hour later than he normally does. He woke up a half hour later and his body was hot. I unsnuggled him from his blankie and laid with him until he fell back asleep. He woke up again... 30 minutes later and he had the saddest, little cry ever.

His bottom lip curled and he covered his eyes with his little hands. Then the heartbreaking cry came out and the tears started flowing. My poor baby...

He had a temperature of 103.3 F last night...

And of course neither of us slept.

I finally broke down and called BD early this morning. He doesn't usually visit on Thursday nights but I needed a hand and some shut eye. He didn't answer... And honestly, I started crying.

I was so heartbroken seeing my son so miserable and I was extremely exhausted. I was mad at the world at 5 am. Ugh...

BD finally got back to me around 7:30 am but I was so flustered and tired. Blake finally went down for a morning nap so I tried to go down for a nap too. 20 minutes later he woke up. We went downstairs so I could make coffee and saw BD was here!

Thank goodness!

I started getting tears in my eyes and BD just gave Blake a big hug. Then he sent me to bed.

I slept for an hour then BD had to really get to work so here I am. Up and at it! All I needed was that one hour.

I doubt BD reads this blog but if you do, thank you for the help this morning!

So today will be all snuggles and love for Blake. Hugs and kisses and as much fluid as he can drink. He can even watch some TV today! I'm kind of sad we'll miss his playgroup's egg hunt but if we stay home and rest, hopefully he'll be better for the real big egg hunt on Easter!

Catching Up

Since Blake has been crawling, I haven't really had much time to get things done. This boy is all over the place!

We definitely need to start babyproofing soon...

I have most of the stuff, like outlet covers (which by the way, I can hardly take out of the outlet... those things are tough) and door handle locks. I'm not worried about him opening and shutting doors just yet.

What I need to invest in are baby gates, cabinet locks, and drawer locks.

When he's not crawling, he is moving around like crazy in his walker. Back, forth, side-to-side, diagonal... every which way!

Aside from crawling, he's learning a ton of other stuff and it's just been so fun playing with him. I can't help but just bask in the happiness he brings me. He can point his finger on command and meet it with your finger (the funny thing about this is that his dominant finger on his left hand is his middle finger... so you'll probably see a lot of pictures with that thing sticking up), clap his hands, high five, and he is picking up on the sign language I've been teaching him (like how to say "more", "all finished", and "milk").

Yesterday we went out for a little "car" ride around the neighborhood and we brought Langston out with us. Blake had a little cold the past few days so we really needed the fresh air. I strapped him in his car, leashed up Langston, and out the door we went.

Blake loved the sunshine! He loved driving his car. But what he loved most was holding Langston's leash! Ahhhhhh... the sweetest sight I ever did see!

When Langston started to wander off, Blake took his leash with both hands and gently pulled on it to get Langston to come back to us. Man... that kid is a quick learner. Here's a quick little video I made with the Vine app. :-)

Anyway, that's my reasoning for not blogging as much as I'd hoped lately.

On another note... I've been giving Blake's old clothes away. He had a boatload of baby clothes that he grew out of and I sold a huge trash bag of them and kept the "special moment" ones. But then as I was cleaning the other day, I found two more bins of clothes! Not even sure how a little baby had so many things. I can't even remember how I fit all of this into his room.

I started selling some of his clothes on Instagram (you can follow us at @fromblakewithlove). We set it up kind of like an online pop-up shop. There really are some internet/phone-savvy moms that came up with this idea. I wish I was original enough to have come up with it first lol!

instagram @fromblakewithlove

I was surprised to see that most of the items sold! I shipped them all out yesterday and tried to make the shipping boxes cute so when they arrive, the buyers get excited. I know that usually helps me accept and enjoy the things I purchase online lol!

"one of the secrets of a HAPPY LIFE is continuous SMALL TREATS"

He Sleeps So Hard, He Sweats...

But the thing is, he doesn't really sleep thaaaat hard! Little homeboy still wakes up every so often, like every 90 minutes, during his nighttime sleep cycle. I never take him out of the bed, but I do breastfeed him and after 2 minutes he's back to sleep.

Even though he wakes up, he sweats like he's been sleeping in the same position for hourrrrrrrs. When I say he sweats, I mean he REALLY sweats! I have to put a waterproof pad underneath the sheets because his little head is just on fire. I tried dressing him down to just a diaper and a shirt and socks (because his little feet are always cold), but he still sweats. He only sweats on his head though. The rest of his body feels fine. He wears full on jammies again because his body gets a little cold. Regardless what he's wearing, his head sweats sweats sweats!

I would say it started when he was around 2 or 3 months. During his naps, I noticed little droplets of sweat under his full head of baby hair. Then it started getting worse during his longer sleep sessions at night. It's to the point where the sheet under his little head is SOAKED. Like he peed or something? I don't know how to explain but there's definitely a circle of wetness under his beautiful little head. I feel so bad for him so I try to shift him while he's sleeping just so he's not sleeping in a puddle. That can't feel good to him. Can it? 

Has anyone had sleep sweating issues with their little ones? I always forget to ask his pediatrician when we see her. Someone, please remind my forgetful @ss when we go to his one year checkup!

I Can Feel the Difference

Stroller Strides is a mommy workout I do with Blake. He doesn't get a workout, but he does get to hang out in his stroller and play with the other kids after the workout is finished.

Our classes are every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning. I try really hard to go to as many classes as I can because it's a great opportunity for Blake to get out of the house and be around his friends. But there are times when I have to miss class...

I missed our workout last Friday and this past Monday... after a week of not really being physically active, I could feel the difference!

Does this mean I'm getting old? My metabolism is slowing down... again?!

I look in the mirror and the "kangaroo pouch" is back. WTF?!

So I'm going back to my gym routine on Tuesdays and Thursdays and going to try extra hard not to miss Stroller Strides on MWFs.

Has anyone seen a major difference in their bodies after just a week of missing your workout routine?

He Finally Did It

Blake's third tooth finally broke through his gums last week. Or maybe earlier, but I just found it last week. He's been drooling like crazy but no major complaining. Just chewing on whatever he can and soaking bibs all day!

The past few nights, Blake has been flipping over onto his belly to sleep and he has never done that before. It's frustrating because he'll do it while he's sleeping and then wake himself up. That just means mommy has to wake up, too.

Last night, after his bedtime bath, he flipped over onto his belly and... CRAWLED!

I was honestly starting to think he would never crawl. He enjoys standing and jumping and trying to walk but he always hated being on his belly. But he did it!! All on his own! Like it was nothing. Like he's been crawling all along behind my back and finally decided to share it with me. Lol! I'm thinking all that flipping in the middle of the night was him DREAMING of crawling!

I wanted to cry and giggle and jump for joy all at the same time. I was shocked. He started crawling 5 minutes before his dad came by to visit. When BD walked into the room, he saw the look of amazement on my face and asked what happened. I put Blake down and let him crawl over to his dad. My jaw dropped open again...

I saw the joy and excitement on BD's face. Blake was all giggles and smiles because he reached his dad by himself. And I was just happy. So super happy that my baby reached another milestone!

BD ran to get the camcorder and I cleared some of Blake's toys from the floor so he could have more room to crawl around. Naturally, he wanted to crawl to all the things he can't usually play with... Like my iPhone, a plastic bag, the iPad, and all the wooden furniture. BD wanted to run to Home Depot to start babyproofing lol!

Now that Blake figured out how to crawl, that's all he wants to do. Even when I tried to put him to bed. He flipped over onto his belly and crawled all over me and under and over the blanket. He was up a little later that night and I'm guessing it was because he was so excited. He didn't even want to lay still during story time.

And now that he's crawling... mommy's getting a little more of a workout with him. LOL!

I'm Not a Baker

I would say I can cook, but I don't bake. I was never really a baker mainly because sweets just weren't my thing. And with baking, everything has to be exact. Packed and unpacked sugar, exact leveled measurements, and baking times down to the second. I don't have the patience for all that. That's probably why my holiday cookies are always questionable. Out of the 10 batches I make, maybe 2 batches turn out tasty enough to give as gifts. lol!

But I'm trying to plan Blake's birthday and cake pops were an idea to have around the dessert table. They pose as decorations but Blake's guests can also stuff them in their mouths. ;-)

I've been working on getting pricing for them and didn't realize how the cost would add up. And if you know me, I try to cut costs where I can and find an alternate solution.

That means... I had to try and make cake pops on my own.

So I baked the cake and surprisingly it didn't end up burnt or mushy.

Then crumbled it.

Added some frosting and rolled them into balls. Pretty impressive I made it THIS far!

Next, I dipped the pop sticks into candy melts and stuck them into the cake. This is what makes it into the wonderful cake pops that they are! And guess what? My cake didn't topple over, slide down the stick, or fall apart on the stick! WIN!!

But the hard part was the coating. Did I want to use candy melts? Fondant? White chocolate? Royal icing? I was lost on this part so I tried a little bit of everything. The fondant looked smoothest, but didn't really hold the cake in after a few hours. I guess if I kept it refrigerated, the fondant would've held up but... I didn't. The candy melts held up the best (with some shortening mixed in). The thing is... it was just too sweet for my liking. The cake tasted just fine... it was the sweetness of the candy melts. :-/

Does anyone have any suggestions on making the cake pop less sweet?

Review Wednesday: Sugarlimelane Baby Leggings

I keep seeing all of these adorable babies in adorable leggings on Instagram and Facebook and, well, all over the web! I would love for Blake to be as stylish! We love one-of-a-kind type things over here and totally support mommy-owned and operated businesses.

Looking for some printed leggings that had patterns suitable for boys was a little tough. Just a little. First off, BD doesn't really like Blake wearing leggings. The word "leggings" gets to him so I just called them "printed pants" around him or "modern sweats". LOL!

Then after I finally found a few prints I liked, the price point was the next deciding factor. I needed some sort of deal here.

And on one of the baby discount sites I stalk follow, I found sugarlimelane. Perfect timing, perfect patterns, and a perfect price point! So I ordered two pairs!

Lyndsay, the owner and founder of sugarlimelane, is such a doll! You know how you can FEEL a person's vibe through reading their email responses? Lyndsay radiates through her messages. I could honestly feel her enthusiasm, excitement, gratefulness, and politeness all through our email conversations. She is a mommy of an almost-one year old boy! And she is very talented.

Blake is now crawling and he loves crawling in his sugarlimelane leggings. He's 9 months, but he's in the 75th percentile for height (and 25th percentile for weight) so all of his clothes are on the 12-18 scale since his legs are long. I ordered 6-12 months and 12-18 months from Lyndsay. 6-12 was a little bit snug on him but the 12-18s fit perfectly!

The fabric of the leggings is thick, but soft. They stretch well while he's moving around, too. Definitely great quality. Lyndsay even has her own cute sugarlimelane tag sewn in the pants. It's a nice reminder that I support mommy-owned small businesses. :-)

Blake looks so serious in the pictures, but it's because he was tired at a birthday party. He needed a nap but I couldn't resist taking pictures of him in his sugarlimelanes! We love the prints over here! So fun!

Go visit http://sugarlimelane.bigcartel.com/  and take a look at her other patterns. We ordered the yellow arrow leggings and the bicycle leggings. Can't wait to get our hands on some of her other prints!

Scored at the Seasonal Consignment Sale!

I found out about the WeeSale Consignment sale when I was pregnant with Blake. I went last Spring to pick up a few things that we didn't get at our baby shower. Some onesies, caps, socks, and other little things. I mainly just wanted to see what all the hype was about.

Boy, am I glad I went then! There was so much baby gear available at 50-75% off of the original prices and all in great condition!

I went again in the Fall after Blake was born to stock up on clothes for his Fall and Winter wardrobe. I didn't really get any toys or gear because at the time he wasn't doing much except growing.

This past Thursday was the start of their 2013 Spring sale and I tried to get there a few minutes before the doors opened at 9:00 am. There was already a long line and it was below freezing outside. These mommies and daddies, grandmas and grandpas were SERIOUS. I found a parking spot and speed walked over to the line.

I wrote a list to keep me focused on what I needed to get. There were about a hundred strollers there, plenty of highchairs, bouncers, pack and plays, and kiddie sized chairs. I wasn't able to snag a water table, which was the big thing I wanted for Blake this summer, but that's ok. No big deal! I mean, we do have a pool in the backyard... it just would've been cool for him to have a sand and water table to hang out at so I don't have to stay in the pool with him all the time.

Chalked that one up as a loss.

Moved on.

I spent about 45 minutes there. I was able to score a ton of goodies for about $150! That sounds like a lot of money but just wait until you hear and see what I got!

1. Evenflo Snugli Cross Country Backpack Carrier
2. Travel Potty (because Blakey only poops on the potty now)
3. Melissa & Doug Wooden Bean Bag Toss (totally using this for his birthday party!)

4. Outdoor Swing

potty seat for the downstairs bathroom (saves me from running up and down the stairs. when he's gotta go, he's gotta go!)

swimming trunks

some onesies

a couple polos

more shirts

a cute Janie & Jack dress shirt

using this one for his first birthday, obvi!

summer shorts

comfy pants

nike sandals

Robeez booties

the first years bottle warmer - for the night's i need a glass of wine (or two)!

In addition to all of that, I also got my hands on three cargo-type pairs of summer shorts and a pair of khakis for him. But I can't find the scissors to cut the zip ties off of them and I don't feel like running around this morning to look for them. (It's a Saturday morning and I've been up since 4:30 am... please excuse me lol!)

Snip Snip... Chop chop!

Big changes last week for Blake and me. We both got our hair cut!

My stylist lopped off a good 15 inches of length from me, but I told her if I was going to cut that much off, I might as well get it short SHORT. She told me it I should sleep on it and if I wake up the next morning feeling like I still need it shorter, then she'd cut it shorter. Sure enough, I woke up the next morning and wanted more taken off. You would think after 15 inches I'd be good but nooooope!

Went back to get more off! And I love it!!!!!

Blake also got his hair cut this past week. His dad and I wanted to just get it trimmed so it wasn't in his eyes and ears. He can't really move his little fingers well enough to brush the hair out of his eyes so we agreed to get it done. I took him to a kiddie hair salon in Annapolis, Pigtails and Crewcuts, and he sat up by himself in one of the car chairs.

They put Elmo on the TV and he was having a grand ol' time!

Driving his own car, watching TV, and having all of the attention on him. My digital camera is broken but I was able to capture the moment on my iPhone and with my camcorder. My mom was with me so she was able to help, too.

The stylist saved a lock of his hair for me from his first REAL haircut. It's shorter than I asked but he's still a handsome little guy. :) Since my mom was with us the stylist also saved her a little lock of his hair as a keepsake. That was sweet!

He looks older to me now, but still my little cutie pie!

What's in My Diaper Bag?

SoYoung Charlie Diaper Bag in Black

A new mom's second most prized possession. The diaper bag and all of it's amazing capabilities. :-) The magic bag! A Mary Poppins wanna-be-kind-of-bag. All sorts of tricks to keep baby happy in one bag thrown over your shoulder.

What's in our diaper bag?

1. aden and anais - burpy bib. $9.95/each.
I love the burpy bib! It's thick and soft. The more we wash it, the softer it gets but there's no need to worry about it breaking down. It's great quality! When Blake was just a newborn, I threw it over my shoulder to use as a burp cloth. Now that he's starting to feed himself and drool more, I snap it around his neck with the button closure and use it as a bib. Two birds, one stone!

2. Sophie the Giraffe - $21.95.
I never saw what was so intriguing about Sophie and really didn't plan on spending money on this little rubber giraffe. But we received her as a gift and she's surprisingly Blake's favorite soft teething toy. He can easily grasp onto her around all her curvaceousness. She's smooth to the touch and easily bendable. It doesn't look like it's easy to chew her face because of all the bumps but the rubber is so soft that it basically just folds once it gets into his mouth. It's pretty cool because she also squeaks when squeezed so that entertains him as well.

3. Elephant WubbaNub - $14.95.
Can't live without his paci. He takes the paci when he's about to fall asleep. Having the cute little elephant attached to it just helps him find it on his own when he's in the carseat or stroller.

4. Indestructibles - $4.95.
This is probably the most awesome book we have that we can easily fit into the diaper bag and he can hold it himself without me worrying about the pages ripping or him getting paper cuts. It's washable, rip-proof, and chew-proof. When he's fussy in his rear-facing carseat, I just hand him whatever Indestructibles book I have in the diaper bag that day, and he stares at the awesome illustrations, flips the pages, and chews on the edges. Enough to keep him occupied for the rest of our car trips.

5. Kleynimals - $24.00.
The real-key feel of Kleynimals and the jingle jangle of it can get Blake's attention almost instantly. Another toy he can put in his mouth and drool all over.

6. Spray Bottle of Water and Blake's Body Wash
We use this for as a butt cleaner when we change his diapers since we use cloth wipes. We also use it to clean his little hands and face after he eats or plays. It's like using regular cleaning wipes, but much cheaper.

7. Bummis Cloth Wipes - $5.99/pack of 6.
Awesome cloth wipes that are made of 100% unbleached cotton flannel. We stash a few in our diaper bag because we use them for dipey changes, dirty hands, drool, snot, and all sorts of things. Just a little body wash sprayed onto it and then we're all clean again!

8. bumgenius 4.0 Pocket Diapers - $17.95.
For most days, I pack 2-3 CDs in my diaper bag. It just depends on how long we'll be out of the house.

9. CJ's Butter - $14 for an 8 oz tub.
To use for diaper changes to keep his little bottom from getting icky and avoid diaper rash. I also use this for my hands because it's more of a lotiony cream type of product. This cold winter weather and the fact that I constantly wash or wipe my hands down can make my digits pretty dry. CJ's helps keep them moisturized and smelling nice and fresh! I keep the Caribbean Therapy or Peppermint one in my diaper bag at all times. Another two-stones-one-bird product!

10. Wetbag for dirty diapers and wipes - $29.00.
Blake and I have a few wetbags to make sure we always have a fresh one when we head out the door. It keeps my diaper bag stink-free from dirty diapers, cloth wipes, and icky burp cloths or dirty baby clothes.

Review Wednesday: S&CB Diaper of the Month Club

Soft & Cozy Baby is a delightful baby boutique located in Baltimore, MD that specializes in natural parenting, cloth diapering, and babywearing. When I was researching cloth diapering, my cousin mentioned this boutique to me and suggested I make a visit. They have cloth diaper experts and they even hold workshops to help curious moms get a better understanding of the various CD choices out there. Not only that, they also promote natural parenting so they host babywearing workshops as well. That's not all though! They know how parents have a lot to juggle so sometimes it's hard to get the kids in the car, park, and tote them around Baltimore in the cold so they offer "carry out" orders. Place an order online or over the phone, pull up to the front of their boutique, and they'll run your order out to your car. No need to try and brave the weather with your little ones!

Since I found out about S&CB, I've made several visits and absolutely admire the staff. They are so knowledgeable and extremely helpful, even over the phone, with any questions customers may have!

Like I said, I visit them frequently so of course I needed to sign up on their mailing list to stay in the loop of their happenings and deals! I'm so glad I signed up! I received an email last month announcing that they now have a Diaper of the Month Club!

As you know, I'm a cloth diaper addict and truly believe they have been saving me money since we started CDing. For $25/month, I figured I'd try it out and see what they have to offer. I'd love to try new diapers! S&CB asks that you fill out a little questionnaire about you, your baby, and the type of diapers you prefer to use.

We received our Diaper of the Month Club delivery soon after the beginning of this month. Quick shipping, and adorable packaging. I forgot to take a picture of the packaging when I opened it because quite honestly, I was too damn excited. ;)

In this month's package, we received a bumgenius all-in-one diaper, an Indestructibles book, a pebble rattle, The Original CJ's Butter, Punkin Butt Organic Wipes Solution sample, and a $5 gift card to use on our next purchase. All for only $25!

The AIO diaper itself costs close to $20! Blake uses bumgenius pocket diapers at home and all of our diapers are pockets. I decided to use pockets because I could change the absorbency and also hang dry the diapers a little quicker. I've been wanting to try the AIO dipes but stopped myself from buying it because we have enough bumgenius diapers. Pockets have worked for us so I just didn't want to go out of my way to try an AIO. This would definitely be easier for BD to use though. It's soaking in water now to try and work its absorbency before I throw it in the wash and put it on Blake.

Along with the AIO, we received a sample of Punkin Butt's Wipe Solution. The sample may look tiny but it's concentrated so it actually makes three cups of solution. We use cloth wipes at home and I've been using a homemade spray with Blake's body wash and water mixed, but this would be cool to try! I have a small spray bottle that I picked up from Target to use on Blake's cloth wipes and a small 0.5 ounce bottle lasts for weeks. I can only imagine three cups of solution will last me for at least a couple of months.

Blake likes books but he also likes to turn the pages on his own, and try to eat the corners. With Indestructibles, he can chew it all he wants and it'll never rip or get icky. The book is even washable! He enjoys looking at all of the colors in the book's pictures and points at the images. It stimulates his senses but also keeps him quiet and calm in the car. There are no words in the book so when we "read"it together, I get to make up my own story. I hope that as he learns to babble more, he can make up his own stories and keep me entertained. :)

The pebble veggie rattle is pretty cool, too. Nice and soft and it seems carefully constructed. It has a 100% cotton exterior and 100% polyester fill interior. It is easy for Blake to grasp onto and shake shake shake all he wants. What I love most about it is that it's machine washable and can be dried in the dryer, if needed. Makes life a little easier for mommy!

The awesome package doesn't stop there... we also got a sample of The Original CJ's Butter! Caribbean Therapy scented. CJ's Butter can be used for adults and children for eczema, rashes, dry or chapped skin, lacerations and abrasions. I actually have a full size CJ's Butter in my diaper bag for dry hands since it's cold out and I constantly wash my hands. No chapped skin over here, folks! Having a sample size would be great to switch out with my full size so it'll take up less space in the dipe bag.

Would I sign up for S&CB Diaper of the Month Club again? Yes. Love them, love the products they have, and the ideas they promote! I also love that they're a local business. Gotta support local!

Baby Daddy Saturdays

BD has been around a lot lately to help me care for Blake, especially since my parents weren't around for a few weeks. Sometimes he stops by after work and Blake is already getting ready to sleep.

Blake's dad mentioned that he wants to be able to spend more time with Blake but he can't always leave work in time to make it for bathtime or story time.

I need the time to study and get things done so we discussed him having some quality Daddy&Blakey time on Saturday mornings. Blake is enrolled at MyGym and he has unlimited free play sessions but I haven't had time to take him since we have so much going on. Well, there's a free play session on Saturday mornings, not too early in the morning but early enough that BD can still have his afternoon free.

This past Saturday we went for a little test run. Starting this week, BD is on his own with Blake. He never had to get everything together for Blake and get him and all his goodies loaded in the car by himself. I kind of just stood by and watched to make sure they were both ok.

He put Blake's jacket on, brought his diaper bag, and strapped him in his carseat. He drove. He took out the stroller, unloaded everything and then unstrapped Blake and got him in his stroller. Instead of going to MyGym, since I was running a little late that morning, he ended up taking him to the mall to have some play time with the other kids at the Play Place.

He strolled around and I didn't have to carry a single bag. I was FREE.

BD entertained him with toys while they were walking to the Play Place. They played, met other kids, and had a great time... all while I sat back, had some Starbucks, and ate a delicious birthday cake cake pop. :P All of which I totally needed!

Then BD got him back in the stroller and actually got him to nap for a bit. Back into the car we all went... with BD doing all the work on his own.

I have to say... I was very proud of him but really, I was even happier seeing that Blake was able to play and be active with his dad. Hopefully this Daddy&Blakey time sticks so I can really focus on school work. Having a set timeframe where I can just sit and not worry about Blake waking up from his nap would be AMAZING!

It's Time - Part II

If you haven't read Part I yet, just click here if you're interested and want to get up to speed. ;-)

By the time BD and I arrived at the hospital, I was already 5 centimeters dilated and I had been feeling pressure waves for about 14 hours already. Nothing major, just tightening in my belly. I gottttt this...

I called my doula to tell her we were staying and I had a room. She lived fairly close to the hospital so she arrived shortly after. Seeing her with her magic rolling storage case of goodies to help with my birthing time felt silly so I ignored the storage case and gave her a big hug. BD, my doula, and me were all laughing and telling jokes. Then I finally decided... it was time to tell our families that we were in the hospital. I wanted to hold off as long as possible but the pressure waves were bearable and I started to get a little bored.

I thought, maybe we should have waited longer...

But my doula, my wonderful wonderful doula, started to massage my back while I sat on a birthing ball. And it was like her counter-pressure almost made my pressure waves disappear. Ohhhhhh, that felt nice! 

She showed BD how to apply the pressure on my back and he followed suit.

After about an hour or so, I started to feel the tightening of my tummy muscles more and there was more pressure on my lower back. I've had lower back problems for years since I was in a car accident so I'm sure that played a part in the discomfort.

I decided I wanted to get in the shower and just let the hot water run down my back. The nurses wanted to check on me but my doula held them off. BD and my doula angel stayed in the bathroom with me to make sure I was still comfortable. They both repeated our Hypnobabies scripts while playing the birthing time track. It was definitely comforting and quite peaceful. At one point, I remember the nurses slightly opening the door to the bathroom just to make sure I was really ok. I smiled and said I felt lovely. :-) They praised me for my effort and positivity and quite honestly, I LOVED THEM FOR THAT! I absolutely adored my nurses. I told them what I wanted and they tried as much as they could to follow through with my birthing time requests.

I wasn't sure how much time passed but I felt hungry. While I was still sitting on my birthing ball in the shower with hot water running down my back, my doula saved me by bringing energy gel packs. I had no idea what they were until she showed me and frankly, I didn't care... I just wanted to eat something. We kept sneaking in a few gel bites here and there just to keep me alert and satisfied.

Then my doctor came. I don't want to get into the details of her checking my progress, but I will tell you that I progressed to eight centimeters.

Awesome!!

Only two more to go!

Back to the shower...

Same routine. Hypnobabies. Hot water. Energy gel bites. And peaceful scripts. I wanted no interferences. I was good. I felt good. I wanted to meet my son...

Then the doctor came back and she broke my water because apparently I stayed at eight centimeters and two hours had passed. She told me the rule of thumb is a centimeter every hour.

But something inside of me got scared. I felt like my water should have remained intact until I felt like I was ready. I wanted to be in control of my body and what happened to my body. My baby was about to be here and all I wanted was to do it on my own (with BD and my doula supporting me).

Another hour or so later, my doctor came back to check on me and I was no longer at eight centimeters.

I went back down to five.

What the...?! I didn't even know that was possible!

Apparently, my son shifted after she broke my water and on top of that, his head was "too big". 

I asked to wait another hour before they did anything else to me. I felt the pressure waves coming on stronger and stronger and... this may be TMI but like I said before, you're the one that chose to read a blog about a new mom and a baby. This is my birthing story soooo... back to what I was saying... it felt stronger and I felt like I had to sh*t. Yes, I needed to use the word sh*t because it was waaaay more serious than the feeling of just a small poop. :P

My doctor agreed and let me try to work it out on my own. She came back in exactly an hour. No progress. My cervix was swollen and I stayed at five centimeters.

Epidural came next. I was so disappointed. I felt so empowered and wonderful thinking I was going to meet my son without any drugs. I cried... I cried a lot. I hugged BD and hugged my doula and just wanted to feel loved. This was definitely not how I wanted this memory to be... 

My doula wiped away my tears. BD stayed close to me for comfort. He continued to recite the Hypnobabies scripts to keep me thinking positive.

When the hospital staff came in to give me epidural, they explained to BD that he shouldn't watch. And like telling a child not to touch a hot stove, he did the opposite of what he was told. He looked. Eyes wide open. Since I couldn't move while they were doing it, my doula massaged BD and assured him I was in good hands. She asked BD to get a drink of water and stay hydrated to keep him from passing out. That was nice of her to take care of him.

So the epidural kicked in and I chose to just lay in bed with the lights dimmed. It was must have been late because it was pitch black outside my window and BD's eyes were getting heavy. I held my doula's hand, BD stayed by my bedside, and I silently cried myself to sleep.

Some time later, the doctor came back in and checked on things... I was STILL at five centimeters. She gave me Pitocin to try and see if it would help open things up again. An hour later... nothing.

1:00 am the next morning, June 5th, 2012

Doc came back...

She put me on the list for the Operating Room. I would be the next mom admitted.

She explained that at that point, I needed to have a C-section. My cervix was too swollen, my son didn't budge, and my water was already broken for longer than she would recommend.

The nurses prepped me for the operation. BD was told to change into scrubs. The two nurses I had assured me I was in good hands. They kept telling me how proud they were of my determination and love for my son. They were very uplifting.

2:30 am

I was rolled into the Operating Room. It was cold and white. Not very welcoming, but how welcoming did I really expect it to be? They moved my body from the labor bed to the operating table. Then they strapped me down. I couldn't stop shivering. I had no control of my body. BD was nervous because I was shaking so bad that my teeth were chattering very loud. I was still crying on the table. I heard him ask the nurse if I was ok... If I needed anything... If she could get me a blanket. And she did. A nice, warm and toasty blanket. But I was still shivering. They said it was from the anesthesia. 

A blue cloth hung above me, covering my view from right under my armpits down. 

The nurses told BD not to look past the cloth. After the epidural incident, he did as he was told.

I felt a weird pressure down in my belly. Pulling. Pushing. Squeezing. No pain... but definitely lots going on down there.

Not too long after all the commotion in my belly stopped, I heard what love sounded like.

My baby was crying! My son was here! The doctor exclaimed, "3:07 am, June 5th, 2012."

I became a mother.

They brought my baby around and let me see him. The nurse brought him right next to my face. More tears came flowing but this time, they immediately changed from disappointment to incredibly happy tears!

They took him and BD followed to get him cleaned up, and get all of his vitals. I could hear him crying while I was still strapped down on the table. Then they brought him back before BD left with him into the recovery room to wait for me.

I'm not sure how much time passed after that but I got to the recovery room, and there they were... BD and our son. BD couldn't stop staring at him and if I didn't show up in the room, I'm sure he wouldn't have put him down. I asked the nurse to help me get my son so we could do to skin-to-skin and she did as soon as I finished asking. She helped me get him to latch. It was absolutely beautiful. I don't think I could ever forget how happy I was in that moment.

My birthing plan was thrown out the window, but my son was healthy and safe. And I was breastfeeding him. So you know what, screw the birthing plan. I had my son with me. That's all that mattered!

While Hypnobabies helped me during my birthing time, and even during my last trimester of pregnancy, I guess I just had to learn that things happen. Life doesn't go the way you plan. It happens the way it's just going to happen and it's absolutely freaking beautiful!

They're Baaaaaaaack!

My parents haven't been around for three weeks and finally came back late last night. It's kind of like Blake knew they were coming home so he prepped himself with a two hour nap and a one hour nap earlier in the day.

Coincidentally, Blake was up right when they walked in the door. We were changing his diaper in his room and heard footsteps coming up the stairs. My mom peeked her head into his door and just smiled at him, waiting for a reaction. He started up at her for a minute and every time she took a step closer to him, it's like it clicked that she was really here and not on a video over the computer.

He squealed with delight and reached his arms out to her. I could hardly get his diaper on because he was kicking his legs with excitement!

Once his diaper was secured on, she snatched him up and showered him with kisses. She took him downstairs to wait by the door for my father. Blake and my dad are best friends. Man oh man, they really are buddies! So my dad walked in the door and stood at the entrance with his silly smile and waved at Blake. Blake quickly reached out for him, almost tipping himself out of my mom's arms.

That moment, with both of my parents kissing him and loving him, was one of the sweetest moments I've seen. I started to cry and I don't know if it was because I knew I would finally have a little help during the day or because it was just such a beautiful moment. My son was all giggles and smiles and my parents were just so happy to see him. They forgot to greet me but seeing how joyous they were to be together was wonderful!

Blake wasn't nervous and obviously didn't forget who they were. It's good to know they make such an impression on him!

Now that they're back, I'll finally get my ten minutes a day to myself to pump without interruption, use the bathroom, shower, study, and eat! YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!! Thank goodness for grandparents!!

Since he stayed up so late, he's still fast asleep at 10 am this morning! He woke up at 7 for a bit but fell back to sleep after a diaper change. ;)

Port Discovery Play Date

I love taking Blake out (if you haven't already noticed) during the day to play and explore new places. Keeping his little body moving and his brain train chuggin' is very important to me. If I keep him home, I feel like we do the same things over and over again which is totally fine but I personally don't like being cooped up.

Yesterday, our good friends, Stephanie and Max, invited us out to play at Port Discovery! Port Discovery is a wonderful, three-level play museum located in the heart of Baltimore. The intention is to allow kids to get moving, play and learn all at the same time. It was ranked one of the top 10 Children's Museums in the U.S. by Forbes in 2012! How lucky are we to live so close to it?! :)

At first I thought it would be too crazy for Blake to play there since he's not even walking on his own, but I think he thoroughly enjoyed himself. He fell asleep in the car on the way up so he had his usual 20-30 minute morning nap. I was able to pump and give him a little extra time to sleep after I parked. (Milk-making is my other part time job!) When he woke up, he acted like he knew where we were. He was so happy and giddy and I knew he was ready to play!

Port Discovery had a room just for kids under the age of three so Blake was able to explore without being knocked down. *whew* What a relief for mommy! There was a tumble area, huge peg board, sandbox, reading area, forest jungle gym area, and an interactive play mat. Definitely tons to do!!

After some time in the Tots Trail room, we went to the Water Works room. Port Discovery has raincoats for kids to wear because it's like playing in a mini water park. There are hoses that kids can spray each other with but there is also a separate little area for kids under the age of one. So we put a raincoat on Blake, rolled up his sleeves, and sat him down in the hook-on infant chair. He was able to reach into the water table and play with some toys that were already provided. The water was a little cold but Blake loves the water so his curiosity definitely peaked.

When the kids are finished playing in the water, they hang up their raincoats and stand in front of a huge wall of blowdryer hoses. You push a button and a heat lamp comes on while the air starts drying the kids. Such a fun idea! It got a little crowded so I didn't keep Blake there too long. I ended up just changing his clothes to get him nice and comfy before going back out into the cold.

We spent about two hours there and would totally go back again! Once Blake was strapped in his carseat, he fell asleep. It was almost immediate! We got home and he slept for two more hours! Mommy-jaw-dropping-moment!! :) We had such a great time and we're so glad we got to spend more time with Stephanie and Max. Can't wait to go back again soon!