He Gon' Learn Tonight

For a few weeks now, I've been having a bit of trouble breastfeeding Blake so much during the night. He hasn't changed his "routine"... I think it my just my mentality. Or my exhaustion?

This picture has nothing to do with this post but I thought it was cute... and recent. ;)

Since he was about 6 months or so, he would wake up every 2-3 hours at night to nurse. He'd scream and wail until he got mommy's milk-milks. He'd nurse for 5 minutes and then go back to sleep. But sometimes, he'd stay latched on and suckle like I was his pacifier... for up to 45 minutes.

I've been feeling upset, frustrated, and just tired every time I think about it. We co-sleep, so it's really no problem just turning to my side to nurse him real quick. It's become second-nature. But... I don't know. Something inside of me was just feeling fed-up.

I finally voiced my concern about the night nursing and my own mental health to Blake's dad. It can't be healthy to feel this way. I love breastfeeding. I really do. I am so proud of Blake and I working together to make it this far in our nursing relationship. I just... I don't know... I guess you could say I started to feel a little resentment because I was jealous that "everyone else" gets to sleep through the night.

I'm not sure who "everyone else" is... but I just felt bad for myself and I KNEW that couldn't be healthy for Blake.

I even reached out to my out-of-town cousins to help me wean him. I know they all have more experience than I do, but really... I just wanted support. I can't let Blake just cry-it-out. That's my not parenting style. I feel like letting him cry it out just causes resentment on his end and I break the trust we've established.

Blake's dad was out of town when I expressed how I felt. And then after I told him I felt terrible for saying that aloud. I couldn't believe it. Who was this person that just took over and made me say such sad words?!

So that night I decided to change my mentality and I would just try to soothe him another way instead of night nursing. It doesn't have to be a hard transition. Blake and I started this past Saturday night. When he wakes up in the middle of the night, I sing to him and pat his back and give him snuggles. And believe it or not, in about 3 minutes, he went back to sleep!!

That was easy. I guess he was just ready for it, too. It was a matter of time and letting him figure things out on his own.

Two hours later, he woke up again and we did the same thing. A couple rounds of "Rockabye Baby" and a few pats on the back and he was back to sleep. It worked?! Just like that?! He doesn't need milk-milk?!

Yup!

It's been 6 nights and he still wakes up in the middle of the night but he doesn't scream and cry for milk anymore. His dad is trying to be more involved during his nightly wake-ups so now he sings or hums in my place. And it works. Thank the moon and the stars, it works!

This is the just the beginning but I feel like we're on the right track to sleeping through the night. I'm still trying to get him on the sippy cup but he prefers an open cup instead. He doesn't drink as much but at least he's testing the waters and not totally refusing it anymore.

Step 1: Complete. Onto step 2... Getting on that sippy cup!