Mission: Completed

When I was pregnant, I kept telling myself my goal was to breastfeed for at least 12 months. My doula reminded me it would be a very tiring time but well worth it, and boy, it has been!

During the last 12 months, we've been through a lot with breastfeeding. Engorgement, leaks, and lots of scheduling around feedings and pumping sessions. I've supplied milk for my little man, stocked a reserve for him, and supplied for three other families. Since our vacation in April, I've slowed down on the pumping... and actually only pump when it gets really full.

But now that Blake is 12 months and we've reached that goal... what do we do now? Blake is used to napping and going down for night-night while nursing... and it doesn't look like he's going to stop any time soon. Before I was pregnant, I never pictured myself nursing a toddler. And now that he's turning one, I'm having mixed feelings about it.

I love breastfeeding him because we bond and play and giggle, and to be honest, most of the time it's just a whole lot easier than preparing a bottle. It's a lot cheaper than buying formula or milk, and my milk changes to suit his needs. No need to tote anything around except a few snacks and my breasts. But I kind of don't want him to be able to pull my shirt up/down while we're out and about and suck at the breast.

photo shared from http://www.needlessthingssite.com/

Do you watch Game of Thrones? I'm terrified of Blake becoming like the 5 or 6 or 7 year old nursing from his mom, Lysa Aryyn's breast and crying out "Mommy mommy! I'm hungry! I'm hungry NOW!" Not that there's anything wrong with that! It just doesn't personally suit me.

Plus... I'd love to have a glass of wine or go out for a night of fun once in awhile without worrying about the alcohol content in my milk totally limits that. Blake just isn't fond of the bottle and he doesn't drink as much from a sippy cup. That probably sounds a little selfish... but sometimes mommy just needs a break.

I think for now, I'll be trying to get him on the bottle and/or sippy cup with our frozen breastmilk and maybe just nurse him at night. Well, not right NOW, but you know... soon. I just feel so bad trying to force him to wean off the boob if he's just not ready. But at the same time... ugh... well, we'll see how it goes...