Cherishing Every Moment

I don't really know how I feel right now. Saddened. Angry. Thankful. Horrified.

A whole slew of emotions have been running through my heart today.

Newtown, CT and all of the family and friends of those affected are in our hearts and prayers.

I was tired. Exhausted, even. I had no sleep last night because I was cramming for a final, and caring for Blake. I had no help. And I complained about it... And even felt bad for myself and worse for my son. I felt bad for Blake because at one point today, I felt defeated. I had no energy and the thought that I'm not good enough for my son took over me.

Until I heard of the sadness that swept over the elementary school in CT. I immediately snuggled up with my little bun and thanked God for blessing us with each other.

I have the biggest blessing in my arms everyday. I can't think that I'm a failure... I am the best mom I can be for my son. I will try everyday to keep him happy and healthy.

I've done one thing right. And that's having my son and choosing to raise him, help or no help. I keep him warm with tons of cuddles, tell him I love him throughout the day, shower him with kisses, give him the best milk I can possibly make, keep him clean, and say our prayers every day.

No matter how trying things become, I can just sneak a peak at Blake and know that he is my purpose.

To know that there are families that can't be with their loved ones tonight breaks my heart. I can't express my grief enough. We want to help some way. Blake and I will be praying for all those affected...

He's awake now... And it's time for more loving...