Mission: Completed

When I was pregnant, I kept telling myself my goal was to breastfeed for at least 12 months. My doula reminded me it would be a very tiring time but well worth it, and boy, it has been!

During the last 12 months, we've been through a lot with breastfeeding. Engorgement, leaks, and lots of scheduling around feedings and pumping sessions. I've supplied milk for my little man, stocked a reserve for him, and supplied for three other families. Since our vacation in April, I've slowed down on the pumping... and actually only pump when it gets really full.

But now that Blake is 12 months and we've reached that goal... what do we do now? Blake is used to napping and going down for night-night while nursing... and it doesn't look like he's going to stop any time soon. Before I was pregnant, I never pictured myself nursing a toddler. And now that he's turning one, I'm having mixed feelings about it.

I love breastfeeding him because we bond and play and giggle, and to be honest, most of the time it's just a whole lot easier than preparing a bottle. It's a lot cheaper than buying formula or milk, and my milk changes to suit his needs. No need to tote anything around except a few snacks and my breasts. But I kind of don't want him to be able to pull my shirt up/down while we're out and about and suck at the breast.

photo shared from http://www.needlessthingssite.com/

Do you watch Game of Thrones? I'm terrified of Blake becoming like the 5 or 6 or 7 year old nursing from his mom, Lysa Aryyn's breast and crying out "Mommy mommy! I'm hungry! I'm hungry NOW!" Not that there's anything wrong with that! It just doesn't personally suit me.

Plus... I'd love to have a glass of wine or go out for a night of fun once in awhile without worrying about the alcohol content in my milk totally limits that. Blake just isn't fond of the bottle and he doesn't drink as much from a sippy cup. That probably sounds a little selfish... but sometimes mommy just needs a break.

I think for now, I'll be trying to get him on the bottle and/or sippy cup with our frozen breastmilk and maybe just nurse him at night. Well, not right NOW, but you know... soon. I just feel so bad trying to force him to wean off the boob if he's just not ready. But at the same time... ugh... well, we'll see how it goes...

Almost One Year

photo credit // Bitsy Baby Photography

Tomorrow, my sweet baby boy will be one year old.

...

ONE. YEAR. OLD.

...

I know everyone mom posts about how fast their baby has grown, and you know what... it looks like I'm jumping on the bandwagon. It's just that... he really has grown incredibly fast.


June 5, 2012 at 3:07 am, my life really began. When Blake was born, everything changed for me... my view on things, my interaction with friends, and my priorities changed. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I just can't believe that tomorrow is his birthday...

Happy Mother's Day!

My first Mother's Day with my son in my arms. :-)

Wow!

Last year I was super prego with this kid about to make his debut. This time I was able to give him kisses first thing in the morning.

As a single mom on Mother's Day, I kind of want to make a big deal over my first Mother's Day but knew that I wouldn't be able to. I wanted just a little extra time to stay in bed in the morning, or time to use the bathroom, shower, and put makeup on without Blake strapped to my side. Maybe getting my favorite Starbucks order brought up to my bed would have been nice. Possibly getting a spa treatment or my nails done.

But to get any of that would mean I had to set it up, which would probably mean I'd have to hire a sitter for the morning. And to be honest... just typing that out made me feel a little selfish...

Mother's Day is for us mommies, right? We all deserve to be honored as our children's mother. Even though I can't get a moment to myself, this day just reminded me how incredibly lucky I am to have my son with me. He recognizes my hard work every day. He may not say it or show it (yet) but I know he knows it. He knows who his mommy is and every time he wants to be held is a gift!

For any other single mamas, you may not get any grand spa treatments or beautiful cards but you do have your wonderful little kiddly winks to love on you everyday! Consider spending special time with your little one to make a craft together. Blake and I will be making handprint art to remember this day. Or maybe share a story about Mother's Day. When I was a nanny, I read the book Mother's Day by Anne Rockwell to the kids to share how many different ways children can choose to celebrate with their moms.

It must feel nice to receive gifts from your children and significant others, but the most important thing about Mother's Day is to take some time to yourself (probably during baby's nap time) to just sit and reflect on your feelings about being a wonderful mommy. Think about all the things you will cherish forever, all of the surprises you came across while raising your children, and all of the challenges you conquered on your own!

You are all amazing mothers! Celebrate YOURSELF in any way that you can! I'd love to hear about all of the love you were showered with today!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

What Happened to Paci?!

When we got back from California, I figured we'd just do a "test run" of how life would be without his precious pacifier (what we call "paci"). I kind of felt like we needed it while we were away to help soothe Blake since we weren't in the comfort of our own home and daily routine.

For the past few months, Blake would spit out his paci right before he fell asleep. The night after we got back from our vacation, I wanted to just TRY and see how he'd act without it. I got him a Disney nightlight that projects onto the ceiling so he stayed focused on Mickey Mouse and his friends. He smiled and waved to them in the dark. It was probably one of the cutest things I've ever seen him do... but then again, I think everything he does is cute. :-P

So he stared, and waved, and smiled... and rolled around, and flipped, and stood up, and let himself fall back onto the soft bed. He was ALL OVER THE PLACE! But at least he was happy while he was tossing and turning all over me and our bed.

After about 20 minutes of pretending he was doing gymnastics, he found my milk-milks, nursed and fell right to sleep. I thought to myself... it couldn't be THAT easy to just not give him his precious paci.

I tried hiding it the next day during nap time... and he did the same thing. Tossed and turned, nursed, and slept. Shoot. That's it?!

Later that day he got really fussy, probably because his body clock hasn't adjusted back to Eastern Standard Time, so I tried to give him his elephant WubbaNub paci and he spit it right out! I tried again while shushing him and trying to calm him down, and he slapped it away. He actually blocked his face from it!

Now we're a week in with no paci! Yay for Blake! I almost started to think he'd never get rid of it and he'd be like Maggie from The Simpsons, but I guess our little ones just have to want to do it on their own. ;-)