14 Months

image credit:// Bitsy Baby Photography

In the past month, Blake had two teeth pop on out (totaling 8 altogether), he found the confidence to walk, he night weaned with me, and started sleeping about 7-8 hours at night without waking to drink milk!

My heart is bursting with golden rays of sunshine! I was able to reconnect with my long lost friend, Sleep. Oh, Sleep has been so wonderful to me in the past when we were young and hadn't a care in the world. But since I was pregnant until just this month, we've lost touch. Having Sleep back in my life has been a different kind of blessing. I haven't felt this wonderful in so long! I wake up in the morning and just feel so refreshed. Revived. Renewed! Oh, it's absolutely terrific!

Besides that, you read it right up there ^^^ . Blake learned how to walk! He's still slow moving but he practices everyday and his confidence just keeps getting better and better. His little legs are doing some work to get from point A to point B to point C. It's adorable. He's been taking steps here and there for the past two months but one night he just decided to get up and walk to Elmo on the TV.

Blake's dad and I took him to Sesame Place the other week to celebrate his big milestone. Blake certainly enjoyed it more than Disneyland. Not sure if it's because he was only 10 months when we went to Disney or if he just knows who Elmo, Bert & Ernie, Cookie Monster, and all of their Sesame friends are. He was a little hesitant about the cold water shooting from the sprinkler and splash parks but he was totally diggin' the kiddie wave pool! He kept walking towards Ernie and his rubber duckie that were posted around the wave pool. My heart nearly melted from all of the joy. I would post pictures BUT I forgot to charge my camera battery before we got to the park. Don't worry... we ended up getting season passes sooooo I'll be taking Blake back.

He learned more signs since I last updated you. He knew how to sign "please" before but now he uses it when he wants something. And if he wants something really bad, he rubs his chest to sign for "please" REALLY hard. lol!

The cutest one yet is "love". He crosses his little arms across his chest like he's folding his arms. I die every time. Sometimes when he wakes up next to me in the morning, he signs "love" and holds my face to pull me towards him and kisses me. :')

He is also learning how to act out the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" song. He can't quite get his fingers to do that funny motion but he puts his pointer fingers together and moves them. I'm trying to get him to at least put a thumb and a pointer finger together because his "Itsy Bitsy Spider" action is too close to the sign for "hurt".

Seeing this boy grow is an amazing joy everyday.

I guess since he's walking now, he's officially a toddler? Oh boy...

Sometimes I Forget I'm a Single Mom

My cousins from New Jersey/New York and Virginia were in town over the weekend and it felt so wonderful seeing them! Their kids playing with my kid and all the sunshine was just perfect.

My family is very tight. My cousins are truly the sisters I've always wanted. Since Blake was born, I haven't been able to travel up and down I-95 as much as I'd like. Not that I'm complaining but I do sincerely miss my weekend road trips to hang out, celebrate birthdays, and just be in great company.

We all have busy lives and I just don't get to connect with my cousins (or friends) as much. Finally having some time to just chill out with them and watch the kids play was nice but then after the kids sleep, we usually stay up and chit chat around the table, maybe drink some wine, laugh about the trouble we used to get into and how our parents were so funny raising us. But Saturday night... I forgot I'm a single mom and had no one to help me put Blake down to sleep.

I so badly wanted to stay with my cousins but it was already waaaay past Blake's bedtime. He was getting cranky, my arms were getting tired from holding him, and someone had to drive him home. That was me. It was hard to say "good night" so I kind of just quietly packed up Blake's stuff and wished someone would be at home to help me.

Blake was so cranky that he screamed and cried the whole ten minute ride home. I parked the car and rushed to open the door and get him out of the carseat to give him some love. He fought me when it came to changing his diaper and getting him into jammies. But when we finally got into bed, I nursed him and all was well in the world. He finally went to sleep.

But then woke up an hour later, screaming. For about 45 minutes. :-/ His schedule was just so off after a day of fun with my cousins' kids. My heart hurt... I started to break a sweat.

It was past midnight and if I were at my cousin's house, we'd be up laughing and maybe drinking a little vino. And instead, I was home with a screaming baby... 

That's when I got a little emotional. Only because I miss my family so much. I miss my friends. I miss going out and being able to grab lunch or a cup of joe without having to find a sitter. And then I started getting upset... because Blake's dad gets nights "off". Every week. He doesn't have to deal with a crying baby... he can go out and live it up and do whatever it is he wants or needs. What about me? I can't help but think this can't be fair. I need an HOUR. Just ONE hour "off".

I'm not knocking BD's work as a father. He's awesome with Blake and Blake absolutely loves him. It's clear to see! But... I need room to breathe sometimes. Time to enjoy with my cousins, friends, and by myself. I mean, it's only healthy that I have time "off" once in awhile, right? It's just so hard to come by.

...

And then it dawned on me... My son loves me. He adores me. He is a mama's boy. He is learning sign language, how to stand, how to catch, how to walk, and everything with me. I get to see all of his milestones. I get to make him laugh throughout the day. The feelings of anger sadness slowly washed away. Sometimes I just have to keep reminding myself of that.

Traveling with Blake

Two weekends ago, I went up to Rochester with Blake and his dad to celebrate BD's cousin's first birthday. I would really love for Blake to know how loved he is and appreciate the company of both sides of his family.

The last time we took a road trip with Blake he was only about 2 months old. During that time he slept for most of the day and would only wake to nurse. Now that he's 9 1/2 months, it's not as easy to get this kid to sleep especially if he sees me in the backseat with him.

The trip to Rochester, NY from Maryland is about 6 hours. When we went up, Blake already had a little bit of a runny nose, but we already made arrangements to travel so we decided to take the risk. We left in the evening around 8 pm and had him in his jammies already. He slept for most of the ride up and woke every two hours to nurse. Then again, we also gave him a little dose of Children's Tylenol since he had a cold. So that may have contributed to him napping.

Now the ride back was a little worse. It seemed like he got a little more sick while we were up there for the weekend, so that may have contributed to it. But we also left mid-afternoon so Blake probably thought it was time to play. He hated being in the carseat, which doesn't happen often. He was screaming and crying most of the way. I tried nursing him in the car and that didn't even work.

We finally stopped halfway home to fuel up and stretch our legs. Took him out of the car to see what was going on and change his diaper.

Mommy had to get some Advil because all the crying and sitting in the backseat just made me feel sick and gave me a headache.

The sun finally went down and around 7:30 pm, Blake started to get quiet. Once it was darker he fell asleep. And he slept for the rest of the way!

I'm sure his cold played a part in his fussiness but I'm trying to figure out how it's going to be traveling with him on a plane.

BD and I agreed that taking a family trip would be a good idea for Blake and would give him memories to last forever. So we're taking a family trip to California in a month. Plus... Blake flies for free until he turns two! Our flights and hotel are already booked. Counting down the days!

If anyone has any tips on traveling with a little one, please share some tips and tricks in the comments!

Still sick

Just when I thought Blake was over the worst part of this sickness, it got worse. Of course.

He had a runny nose and hoarse throat the past few days but he got his voice back on Wednesday so I thought we were almost in the clear.

When he's sick, I continue to breastfeed but I also thaw out frozen breastmilk to see if there are any antibodies that could help. He started showing interest in solid food again yesterday. We had soup rice soup with chicken. Yummy dinner for mommy and Blake!

But then while we were playing before his bath, his nose started running again. I ended up skipping his bath and have him a lukewarm wipe down instead.

He pooped in his diaper, which doesn't sound surprising but it is for me since he hasn't pooped in his diaper for awhiiiiiile. He goes on the potty... So that's how I knew he was still sick.

It was incredibly tough getting him to sleep last night. His nose kept running like a monster was inside his nose scaring the snot out. Ha! I took the NoseFrida out a few times and he hated it but at least he could breathe.

He finally fell asleep around 8... About an hour later than he normally does. He woke up a half hour later and his body was hot. I unsnuggled him from his blankie and laid with him until he fell back asleep. He woke up again... 30 minutes later and he had the saddest, little cry ever.

His bottom lip curled and he covered his eyes with his little hands. Then the heartbreaking cry came out and the tears started flowing. My poor baby...

He had a temperature of 103.3 F last night...

And of course neither of us slept.

I finally broke down and called BD early this morning. He doesn't usually visit on Thursday nights but I needed a hand and some shut eye. He didn't answer... And honestly, I started crying.

I was so heartbroken seeing my son so miserable and I was extremely exhausted. I was mad at the world at 5 am. Ugh...

BD finally got back to me around 7:30 am but I was so flustered and tired. Blake finally went down for a morning nap so I tried to go down for a nap too. 20 minutes later he woke up. We went downstairs so I could make coffee and saw BD was here!

Thank goodness!

I started getting tears in my eyes and BD just gave Blake a big hug. Then he sent me to bed.

I slept for an hour then BD had to really get to work so here I am. Up and at it! All I needed was that one hour.

I doubt BD reads this blog but if you do, thank you for the help this morning!

So today will be all snuggles and love for Blake. Hugs and kisses and as much fluid as he can drink. He can even watch some TV today! I'm kind of sad we'll miss his playgroup's egg hunt but if we stay home and rest, hopefully he'll be better for the real big egg hunt on Easter!